There are days when I feel like literal garbage. Trash. Inside of a trashcan about to be collected on a Monday morning. About to be dumped into a landfill and irreparably pollute the environment. And cause the downfall of all life on this planet. Property of the City of Berkeley.

I feel like Trash today.

I called my dad the other day and he told me that he doesn’t remember most people from 50 years ago. I guess I will understand what that must be like in 50 years.

He also said that time doesn’t exist when you’re in your twenties. I agree. Am I going to be young forever? Factually, no. In my prematurely formed brain, yes.

What is the probability of falling in love with someone? How many more people will we all fall in love with?

How do you understand the rest of your life in a single moment?

I have only been an adult for 3 years. How can you experience so much in such a short amount of time? Are these the best years of my life? Will everything around me begin to decay? Or is this the beginning of a beautiful life?

I do not know much in this moment in time. Perhaps I will know a little bit more in the coming moments.

I am a sucker for love. Choosing life over love is incredibly difficult for me. I’ve always thought that love is life but I don’t think that’s a very practical way to go about reality.

I haven’t felt like Trash in a long time, and I can’t remember how to process these emotions. I have coping mechanisms, and yet they’ve all vanished from my memory. I can barely remember what my life was like 3 years ago. That’s an enormous relief. I am looking forward to my life 3 years from now. But then I’ll be nearly 25.